Now I'm 4 weeks old I'm starting to appreciate some of the finer things in life, like somewhere comfortable where I can watch those quiet people do things.

Um me, nope, not going anywhere. I just thought I saw a puppy on the other side of this pillow

So, what are you looking at? The doctor thought I was a 9.7lb weakling and put me on the Charles Atlas body building course and this is a great exercise aid.

No, but seriously, this is my new look for the next 6 weeks while my left hip finishes growing. I have a left hip dysplasia. It's when the cartilage in the acetabulum of the pelvis does not fully grow around the caput of the femur ( did you know those words when you were two weeks old?)

I have the brace 24 hours a day for at least 6 weeks and it has a 95% success rate.

How to yell

Today we're going to learn how to properly yell [you're allowed one split infinitive ed.]

Like my picture shows, to yell properly start by laying flat on the floor in a comfortable little nest.

Then, start wrinkling your face and looking unhappy. It will help channel your energy into the yell. Then move onto some minor, warm up yells. But conserve, conserve conserve. Don't peak now.

Anyone can yell, but the key to a good yell is the dramatic leap from mere noise to a beautiful yell. When executed correctly you will scare the neighbourhood dogs, the squirrels will fall out of the trees and the raccoons will flee the county. Trust me, I know how to do it.

So after that last minor yell, take a breath down, down, down and let it roar. Loud roar. Really loud roar, build it up and up. And hold, 2,3,4...hold...27,28,29,30... Project it, less vibrato (if you're my age), more feeling...54,55,56,57...and trail off to tapering yells in the same key. Personally I avoid the squeals on the side, but if you like to throw some in then go right ahead.

Pace yourself because this is just the matinee, and there are all 4 acts to get through in tonight's show.

What? Look at that. Turn your back and go to sleep for 5 seconds and they take your photograph. Those papparentzi!!

So I yelled at them for 23 hours, 59 minutes and 55 seconds.

See how happy everyone is when they get what they've been waiting for?

I am Max and I am 4.3 Kg (9lb90z) . My hobbies include eating, burping and sleeping.

There are rumours that my name really means maximum volume [they're not rumours ed.]

Welcome

Welcome to my blog. My name is Maxim but you can call me Max. Pleased to meet you.

From time to time I'll show you some pictures of myself, and maybe of some of the other people around here. Don't worry about them, they do everything I say [sometimes. ed] . If there are any spelling mistakes I'll blame them